Chapter Twenty-Four

Mrs. Usman drove back the following day to visit her daughter at the hospital. The day before, Aamilah had slept through most of her time there, and when she did wake up, she was in tears and visibly distressed. Upon returning home, Mrs. Usman had lied to her husband, telling him that she had some errands to run, which was why she got home late.

This morning, Mrs. Usman first visited the doctor who had spoken to her the previous day, hoping for good news.

“As I mentioned yesterday,” the doctor continued, “we have flushed all the drugs out of her system, and she should be physically okay; however, I can’t speak to her mental state.” He folded his arms over his chest. “I will need to refer her to the mental health unit to ensure she doesn’t repeat this incident.” He raised an eyebrow, gauging her reaction.

Mrs. Usman nodded, understanding the gravity of the situation. Pat, a social worker, had kindly explained some things to her the day before; she had encountered numerous cases involving young people who had attempted suicide or run away. Given Aamilah’s current condition, a visit to a psychiatrist seemed highly advisable.

“Additionally,” the doctor added, “your daughter will need to decide whether she wants to keep the baby or not.” He looked at her to ensure she comprehended the weight of his words.

“She has other options besides what she attempted; in any case, it would be wise to make a decision as soon as possible.”

Shortly after, Mrs. Usman left his office and went to see her daughter. Aamilah was lying down when her mother walked in.

“Mom,” Aamilah said, sitting up quickly when she saw her.

Mrs. Usman smiled, relieved that her daughter looked better than the day before. “How are you?” she asked gently.

“I feel terrible,” Aamilah muttered. “I’m so sorry.” She bowed her head.

Mrs. Usman sat by her side on the bed and gently lifted her chin. “It’s okay, Aamilah; I’m just so glad you’re alright.” She carefully wiped the tears from her daughter’s face.

Aamilah was afraid to look into her mother’s eyes, but she did anyway, and what she saw overwhelmed her. She saw a mother who loved her despite everything she had done.

Tears choked her throat. “I disappointed you, Mom, and I feel so ashamed of myself.” Tears began to pool in her eyes. “I was afraid you wouldn’t want me anymore; I was afraid of the shame and disgrace I brought upon you.”

“Oh dear,” her mother muttered. “I will never be ashamed of you.” She held her hands tightly. “Yes, we have a culture and a religion that can be rigid and tough on issues like this, but we also have a mother’s love that surpasses all else.”

At this point, Aamilah was flooded with tears.

“We are going to work through this, Aamilah. As a family, we will get through it together.” Her mother slowly enveloped her in an embrace as she continued to cry.

“Promise me this incident will never happen again.” She looked straight into Aamilah’s eyes, tears streaming down both their faces.

Aamilah nodded.

“We will work this out, Aamilah—together, we will.” Her mother tightened her grip around her.

Aamilah rested her head on her mother’s shoulder, and for the first time in weeks, she felt safe and secure in her arms. Then, the thought of her father filled her with fear.

“How about Dad?” she asked.

Mrs. Usman inhaled deeply and smiled. “You just focus on getting better. Your father is well, and he loves you.”

Aamilah understood what her mother meant; she knew it might take a while for her father to come around—or worse, that he might never accept her again. This thought filled her heart with grief, as she realized that the man she had grown up to love, who had always had her back and was so proud of her, now saw her as an abomination to the family—someone unworthy of his love, someone who had disappointed him.

“I know the timing is difficult, but you need to make a decision about the baby,” her mother said softly. “I want you to know that no matter what choice you make, I will support and love you unconditionally.” She gently touched Aamilah’s cheeks.

Aamilah found great comfort in her mother’s words; she wasn’t pushing her to decide or trying to impose her opinions. Instead, her mother simply expressed her love, irrespective of Aamilah’s choice. With that reassurance, Aamilah embraced her mother once again, resting her head on her shoulder.

****

It had been three weeks since the incident with Amanda. She had withdrawn from all activities and was slowly sinking into depression. Anna tried several times to comfort her, but Amanda wouldn’t allow anyone near her. When Anna asked if she needed her during the burial of her daughter, Amanda declined. In fact, Anna had no idea when or where Amanda had buried her. Amanda stayed in her room and only came down occasionally for a drink.

A week later, Amanda returned to work, but upon coming home, she would retreat to her room for several hours. Anna was concerned about her. She wanted Amanda to know that she was there if she needed help, but nothing seemed to work. Eventually, Anna decided to give Amanda some space, understanding that she was still grieving the loss of her baby. She refrained from asking any questions that might upset Amanda, hoping that she would begin to heal over time.

Today was Sophie’s birthday; she was celebrating her tenth birthday and had invited all her friends from school. Pat was there to help with the preparations, while Fred was busy setting up the tent outside in the garden. Everything was in place, and visitors gradually filled the garden. The kids were all having fun with the entertainer they had hired and enjoyed various activities to make the day special for their daughter.

Fred had gone into the kitchen to get more paper plates for the kids when he bumped into Amanda. His heart skipped a beat. Since the incident, he had been afraid to speak with her and deliberately avoided her. He wanted to turn back immediately, but Amanda had turned to see who had walked into the kitchen before he could escape.

“Oh well, it is the Prince Charming.” She scoffed.

Fred stood still, afraid of her presence in the room. Over the days that followed the incident, he’s seen an overwhelming anger and resentment in her. She was like a walking time-bomb, and he knew it was just a matter of time till she exploded.

Amanda stood there staring hard at him, her face quivering with outrage.

Amanda slowly walked to stand right in front of him, her eyes locked with his. “You are an evil, wicked, selfish bastard!” She said with so much intense anger in her voice.

Fred swallowed hard and did not attempt to move away from her.

“I thought I knew you; I thought you loved me?” Her voice filled with resentment. “But you are just as wicked as any bastard out there.” She raged at him.

“Amanda, please….” Fred tried to make her lower her voice; he feared someone might hear her.

“What!” she shouted. “What are you afraid of, Mr Lover boy? After all, you were not the one who lost a baby, and you cared less what happened to me.”

Pat shivered with fear as she walked in from the garden. She had just heard some noises coming from the kitchen and was about to enter when she overheard Amanda calling her brother in law a bastard. That stopped her in her tracks, and the conversation that followed made her entire body tremble with fear.

Fred looked unsettled. “It’s not what you think, Amanda. It’s not—”

“What exactly should I think?” she interrupted, her voice rising. “That you abandoned me when I needed you the most?” She cried out, tears streaming down her cheeks as sobs of utter despair wracked her body. “I was carrying your child, and you stood there and did nothing. You didn’t even bother to hold or bury her with me. God! What kind of father are you?” she raged at him.

Pat wanted to move away, but her legs wouldn’t cooperate; she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Just as she was about to turn back, Anna walked in from the garden.

“We need more paper plates,” she said as she walked past Pat, but suddenly halted when she heard her sister’s voice.

“You are a selfish bastard, Fred; you did nothing and let our baby die.” She began to hit him repeatedly on the chest, tears pouring down her face. “She was our baby, my baby…”

Anna’s heart twisted painfully as she realized what this meant. She glanced back at Pat and saw her trembling.

“I didn’t know you were pregnant!” Fred exclaimed, holding Amanda’s hands to prevent her from hitting him. “I am so sorry, Amanda, I….” He stammered.

“Have I become so disgusting to you that you couldn’t even come to check on me? You left me, Fred, with all the pain and loss of our child. You left me!” she cried out.

Anna couldn’t bear to listen any longer from behind the door and slowly made her presence known.

It was Fred who noticed her first; he shuddered, feeling his skin burn and sweat pour down his body. Amanda also jerked away from him when she saw her sister.

Anna felt disoriented, looking from her sister to her husband. Suddenly, she began to feel nauseous and breathless, as if she were about to black out right there. Just then, she felt someone hold her shoulders. It was Pat, who carefully led her to a chair in the kitchen.

Anna rested her head on the kitchen table for a few seconds, forcing herself to take slow, steady gulps of air.

Amanda stood frozen, her heart racing as her sister entered the room. Instinctively, she crossed her arms, a shield against the turmoil she felt inside. Fred, on the other hand, was engulfed in shame and guilt.

Anna slowly lifted her gaze, her eyes ablaze with indignation. “You betrayed me with my sister,” she thundered, her anger erupting through the layers of fear that had enveloped her. She darted her gaze between her husband and Amanda. “Oh my God…” she gasped, covering her mouth to stifle a cry. The weight of betrayal crashed down on her. Turning to Pat, her chest heaved as fear transformed into raw, unfiltered rage.

“I…,” Fred managed, his voice barely a whisper, barely able to hold the shame that threatened to consume him.

“You got my sister pregnant, Fred, while I was oblivious in my own home!” Tears rushed down Anna’s face, a torrent fuelled by a mix of anger and heartbreak. She yearned to rise, but Pat gently urged her to stay seated, concern etched on his face.

Anna’s heart raced unbearably, the reality of the betrayal hitting her like a tidal wave. “All the silence, your cold distance, the grief from loss… oh my God…” Desperation twisted inside her as she fought for control over her spiralling emotions.

“Why?” Amanda suddenly yelled, thrusting her hands up in exasperation. “Why do you act like you’re the victim here?” Her voice pierced the tension, directed forcefully at Anna.

Everyone stared back at Amanda in disbelief; even Fred was shocked that she could say anything given the situation they were in.

Amanda rolled her eyes at them. “Don’t you dare pretend to be the righteous one here!” she hissed.

Anna gasped in surprise.

Amanda straightened and looked hard at her sister. “Yes, I saw you. The week you were supposed to be at Bolton, I saw you entering the Hilton Hotel in central London with another man,” she sneered.

“What!” Fred exclaimed, bewildered.

“You are as much a cheater as I am; you are not better off,” Amanda spat out.

          Anna slowly stood up, her emotions bubbling to the surface. Pat tried to stop her, but this time Anna jerked her hand away, shooting an angry glare in Pat’s direction. She walked towards Fred and faced him directly.

“Yes, I was cheating,” she said, locking eyes with him. “I was cheating with cancer.”

Fred shivered at her words.

Tears welled in Anna’s throat, and she swallowed hard, quickly wiping away the moisture on her cheeks. Her heart pounded, making it feel as if it might crush her lungs. “I have cancer, Fred,” she choked out, maintaining her gaze on him. “I wanted to spare you the pain and agony you endured when your sister had cancer, so I decided to handle this on my own, at least until it was over.” She clasped her trembling hands together.

“I was afraid of what the news might do to you.” Her face reflected the pain she felt. She brought her hands to her head and carefully removed the wig she was wearing, revealing her completely shaved head.

Fred gasped, trying to steady his breathing as fear filled his mind like a cloud of hot ash.

“I have been undergoing chemotherapy for months now and started to lose my hair, so I decided to cut it all off.” She dropped the wig on the floor. “If you, my husband, were not sleeping with my sister and betraying my trust, you would have at least noticed the signs: the weight loss, fatigue, vomiting, and loss of appetite.” Tears filled her eyes as resentment burned within her.

“Oh my God!” she whimpered. “You didn’t even notice that I haven’t been going to work for weeks!” she cried out. “For the past two months, I have been absent from work, using it as an excuse to go for my treatments.” Her face showed the strain of her hurt. “The Hilton Hotel became my resting place; whenever I was too tired and knew you would notice my weakness, I had a reservation there to rest, with help from the McMillan Cancer Support Group.”

Fred felt tears streaming down his face and did not attempt to wipe them away.

Then, she walked slowly away from him and towards Amanda.

Suddenly, Anna raised her hand and struck her so hard on the cheeks. “How dare you?” She shouted at her.

Fred and Pat quivered at the sound of her hand against Amanda’s cheeks.

Amanda stood there, stone-faced, as she looked straight into her sister’s eyes. Tears were bunching in her eyes, and she made no attempt to wipe them away.

Anna looked straight at her, her eyes smouldering with resentment and anger. “You disgust me.” She said with so much disdain in her voice. “I hate you so much right now, and you make me sick.” She said as tears poured down her face.

Amanda stood there, tears pouring down her face, too. For the first time in months, she felt ashamed of herself and saw the very thing she was—a betrayal.

“Look at you,” Anna said, disgust evident in her tone as she scanned Amanda from head to toe. “You could have any man on this planet, and it had to be my husband. You had to have him.” Anger surged within her.

Amanda didn’t try to respond; shame made her lips tremble.

“How long?” Anna shouted, her voice echoing with fury.

Amanda shuddered at the intensity of Anna’s words.

“How long, dammit!” She shouted again. “How many nights did you have his lips on your lips, his mouth on you!” She said with disdain in her voice. “How long have you been sleeping with my husband?” She shouted in rage; her heart jarred at the thought of seeing them together.

Then, Anna moved away from her; even the sight of her was beginning to repulse her. She walked backwards without taking her eyes off them both.

“I hate you both,” She cried in pain, pointing at them. “I hate you so much.” Her face was quivering with rage. “I wish you would both rot in hell!” She shouted out in tears.

“Mummy…., what is going on?”

They all turned to the door and found Sophie trembling in fear.