The Past
“Those who don’t know the value of loyalty can never appreciate the cost of betrayal” Unknown Author.
Amanda sat quietly at the back of the seven seater Ford with the twins. Sophia sat in the front seat, while Anna, sat beside Fred who driving them all to church.
Amanda’s heart was filled with anger and jealousy; she wished she was the one sitting beside him. After all she was the one he really loved and wanted to be with.
The secret relationship had started six months earlier; before then, Amanda had come to the United Kingdom to study for her master’s programme. Her plan had been to spend a year with them, and then return immediately back to Nigeria to marry her long time sweetheart, Mike, whom she had dated for almost four years.
Her elder sister, Anna had been thrilled to have her with them during her stay in the country. Six months later, Mike had suddenly broken off his engagement with Amanda; he had impregnated another woman back in Nigeria; he claimed not to be in love with Amanda anymore. He said he couldn’t cope with the long distance relationship.
That had been a tough time for Amanda; the one man she had ever loved, and wanted to spend the rest of her life with had just walked out on her. The shame and hurt kept her back in the United Kingdom even after she completed her master’s programme. She couldn’t bear to go back home to witness it all.
Amanda had been so dejected after the break-up; she’d given all her strength and time into that relationship. Mike had promised her heaven and earth; he did vow to spend the rest of his life with her. When she announced she would like to travel to the United Kingdom to study for a year, he was thrilled at her decision and supported her all the way. Amanda knew she wouldn’t have venture into the course if he had not consented. She was ready to give him everything and spend her life with him. This had been a shock to her when he broke off their engagement, and the fact that he had another relationship besides her broke her heart.
She decided to stay back in the United Kingdom, and start over. She’d felt she might lose her mind if she went back to Nigeria; living in the same city with the man she gave her love to might destroy her. About a year later, she finished her studies, and gained employment in an IT company, and continued to live with the family.
During this time, Amanda developed an unhealthy crush on Fred. Due to the nature of Anna’s job; she worked on shift basis, which meant she was away from home most nights and long hours. Fred worked as a Design Consultant in an IT firm, but the flexibility of his work made it easier for the family. He was able to work from home, and took care of their children. He had this tender approach about his family and his home. Amanda envied the kind of love and attention he gave to his family. She loved everything about him and envied the beautiful family he had. She wished herself in the place of her sister. She found him charming and attractive, and wished he was all for her. Amanda knew the one thing her brother-in-law suffered from – loneliness. That was his weakness. He was a man who wanted so much attention and affection. She’d took her time to watch him; those time when Anna was off to work, she knew he missed her and would often sleep off in the living room.
When Amanda was new to the family and noticed this behaviour; she had asked her sister why Fred spent most of his night in the living room, working on his computer or watching boring television programme. She found this odd. Anna had told her he hated sleeping alone in the bedroom. This had been a challenge for them when she started working at the hospital. He would go most night without sleep, and this affected their relationship. But after several months, he adapted and found his way around it. He found solace in his work and other project.
After several months of Amanda struggling with the crush she had on Fred; she ignored every moral ethnics of this being immoral and decided to go after him. She realised he was vulnerable and she was able to give him what he wanted most – companion.
She had plenty of opportunity to execute her plans with her sister away at work.
One particular day, she came to Fred for help with some IT problem. . She had been staring at him as he went on about some software and codes.
He noticed her intense gaze on him. “Are you alright, Amanda?”
She knew he was bound to have noticed her intense look and behaviour over the past few days they’ve been working closely.
She shrugged
“I….” she took her face away. “I don’t know.”
“What’s going on Amanda?” he asked, searching her eyes for answers.
She met his gaze steadily. “Can’t you see it?” She flustered, “Can’t you feel what I’m feeling right here.” She took his hands and placed them on her chest to feel her heart beat.
Heat flooded Fred’s face. “What!” he gasped in disbelief. He removed his hands abruptly from her chest.
“The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies; it comes from those you trust the most” Anonymous:
“Don’t tell me you don’t feel it?” she demanded, standing up and gazing at him.
“What are you saying Amanda?” he was looked bewildered, and confused.
“You know very well what I’m saying Fred!” Her stomach trembled with desire.
Fred was taken aback at the mention of his name. She had never called him by his first name, only as ‘uncle’.
“You know I have feelings for you. God! I am dying here,” she threw her hands up in the air in frustration. “I want you in my life, I want you to love me …” She’d hoped her declaration would encourage Fred to make a declaration as well.
Fred stood startled. He stood there for a moment staring at her, unsure of how to response to her demands. Then, he said the first thing that came to mind. “Amanda, you are not thinking straight; this is only a crush, it will pass away.” He took his face from her.
“No, it won’t! I have tried so hard to ignore it, but it’s not going away. I truly love you; I love you with all of my heart.”
Fred was afraid to look into her eyes; the longing and hot passion couldn’t be missed.
“Don’t be afraid of these feeling Fred, it’s only natural, don’t fight it…” she cupped his cheeks in her hands.
He took her hands away from his face; he had felt his stomach churned in irritation. “This is madness Amanda, we can’t do this. I mean…., I’m your sister’s husband, your brother-in-law…, this is absurd.”
“But I love you! Love has no limit or boundaries. Love can come in any way and I am in love with you.” she had cried out.
“No you don’t! It’s only infatuation!” He sounded infuriated. “You don’t know what you are feeling.”
“I really do, I have tried to overcome it for weeks now,” She met his gaze “…but it’s not going and it hurts so badly,” she placed her hands on her chest in tears. “Every day, I have to see you, every minute, every second seeing you and not having you to myself is like a knife to my chest,” she cried out. “I love you Fred, I am in love with you…” she held his hands.
He immediately pulled his hands away from her. “Stop, Stop it Amanda! This is absurd,” he shouted.” Don’t you see what you are asking? I am your sister’s husband.” he stared at her in disbelief. “I am a Christian; I can never commit such an abominable sin, not to your sister and not to God.” He took his keys from the table and walked towards the door.
“Please don’t go, don’t walk away from me, please come back.” she cried after him but Fred was long gone.
Things were tensed between them for several days after that incidence. Fred tried avoiding her each time she was home but that didn’t last long.
One evening, Amanda was walking along the hallway when she heard her sister and her husband quarrelling in their bedroom; she couldn’t make out what the cause of their argument was, but she something was wrong.
Later that evening after Anna was off to her night shift at the hospital; Amanda was determined to have another go at Fred and this time nothing was going to stop her. It was a perfect opportunity to get him on her side.
She had gone into his room wearing the most seductive night wear she had. It hadn’t taken a long time for Fred’s will power and resistance to disintegrate and he had succumbed to her advances. They both ended up having sex that night and had spent the night together in each other’s arms.
Fred had been remorseful in the morning and had been overwhelmed with guilt. When Anna came back that morning, he had been at the verge of telling her, but had decided against it knowing the revelation would destroy his family. He had decided to keep quiet, and promised himself it would never happen again, but a few days later, he was back in her bed.
“Aunty, are you coming?” Sophie’s voice jolted Amanda from her thought. She realised they had reached the church, and the whole family were down from the car. She joined the family into the Church building. The New life Pentecostal Church suited in the small town of Wavering, Essex has been the family Church for several years. The only reason she went to church was because of Anna. She knew her sister would not let her be and would constantly preach at her for not attending church. Her words had always rang in her ears since their childhood, ‘do not forsake the gathering of brethren’. She was the good girl of the family.
To be continued.
